So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
