im six kinds of drunk right now
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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