Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
