eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
