She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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