Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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