I wish I only lived at night.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
