Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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