So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
