Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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