What a fucking waste of an outfit
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
