They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize