You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
