If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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