So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
