I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
