Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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