i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
