My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
