This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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