Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize