Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
