i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
did you just send me my own nude
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
