His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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