I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
