Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
