I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
