You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
