I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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