YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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