the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
