I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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