he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
