i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
