who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
