My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
