Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
