yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
