went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize