How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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