Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
