Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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