9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
