after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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