I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
