you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need a beard to bite.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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