I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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