he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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