i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
