Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
