I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
