I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
there was a trapeze. enough said
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize