theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
