but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
